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Are you being modest?

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Just because guys don't have the same parts, doesn't mean they aren't dressing strategically to gain the same unhealthy attention.
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Modesty is less about the clothes we wear and more about how we honor God while not causing others to stumble. The arguments for not being modest are seeded in selfish desires and lies from satan. Each gender must take responsibility for their own choices, it’s not the girls fault that a man lusted after her because of her outfit, he chose to look and lust. But the girl, if she is a believer, should consider that loving a neighbor in this situation means not wearing certain things that are not modest.

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Hello friends! If you are new to the blog, we are a part of the company AskUsWhy whose mission is to equip believers of all stages of life to share the Gospel wherever they go. We primarily do this through our social media, podcasts, and website but also through our apparel line made of intentional designs centered on Christ and starting conversations.  

This past week we talked about modesty. With Christian gone in Oregon for the week, we had the amazing Ali Champion join us for the podcast!


This whole podcast topic surfaced due to a conversation all of us had a couple weeks ago on modesty after listening to a different podcast that got us thinking. Ali raised the question to us boys (Christian, Remy, and myself), why do guys not get talked to about modesty? To which our response was something along the lines of dumb confusion and the witty comment of "because we don't have boobs" or something stupid like that. But she did have a great point, just because guys don't have the boobs or a butt to show off, doesn't mean they aren't dressing strategically to gain the same unhealthy attention.


Ouch, that one hit us dudes hard. We had believed for the longest time that this topic didn't really concern us, that it was a girl problem. "And that right there, IS the problem" -(Ali speaking to me while I write this blog)


So, what do we do? Where do we start this conversation with guys if most of us have never had to think about it? Are we not allowed to take our shirts off when we play sand volleyball anymore? Are we not allowed to wear bro tanks to the gym? What's the deal?


Let's start with the main scripture we centered around in our podcast:

"Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body" (1 Corinthians 6: 19-20).


I can honestly say I have read this passage so many times, but never from this lens of modesty. Unfortunately, I think churches/schools/parents might not hold guys to the same standard as girls in this area. From this passage and from a biblical worldview we know that no matter your gender, you are called to honor God with your body because it is a temple of the Holy Spirit. But I think we can so easily forget to teach men about the importance of modesty from a biblical understanding.


For so many, including myself many times, we wake up every morning and get dressed with our priority being how we can gain affirmation from people; when the bible clearly teaches us that honoring God with our body (which means choosing the things we do and do not wear) is always more important than looking "cute".


In the podcast Ali mentioned some excuses that are typically made by females in regard to being modest:

1) It's my body, I can do what I want

2) Just don't look

3) I don't wear these outfits for attention, I wear them because they are cute


These are all great points... if you don't have a relationship with Christ.


Pulling from our main passage of scripture above, we see that the first excuse is completely false for a born-again Christian. Our bodies are NOT our own, they were paid for by the blood of Jesus on the cross. Just because Jesus gives us new life in him, does not mean we get to do whatever we want without consequences; and neither should we want to.


Now the second excuse actually has some weight to it. In a way, telling a guy to "just not look" is warranted. It is completely true to say that any guy has the choice to lust after a woman. That is his decision, and he cannot blame the woman for his sin just because she might have been wearing something not modest.


It is OUR RESPONSIBILITY to choose not to sin. It is Not the other gender’s fault that we stumbled.


But is that how we should live as Christians?


If the blame just gets passed around from guy to girl and back to guy again, we aren't solving the problem. And we definitely aren't loving our fellow brothers and sisters in Christ. Yes the man should not lust at the woman, but is the woman off the hook then? Even though every sin is our choice, it shouldn't mean we don't do our best to remove the stumbling block out of the way of each other.


The girls have to take responsibility to dress modestly to honor God and love their brothers in Christ by not giving them things to lust over. Just as the guys have to equally take responsibility to honor God with not lusting after a woman and not dressing to gain unhealthy attention.


Main point to get across:

Modesty is less about the clothes we wear and more about how we honor God while not causing others to stumble. The arguments for not being modest are seeded in selfish desires and lies from satan. Each gender must take responsibility for their own choices, it’s not the girls fault that a man lusted after her because of her outfit, he chose to look and lust. But the girl, if she is a believer, should consider that loving a neighbor in this situation means not wearing certain things that are not modest.


Main Point: stop blaming everybody else and take responsibility to honor God with your body.


Questions to ask ourselves on Modesty...

-How can I dress to honor God with my body, not to attract others for selfish pleasures?

-Are we more worried about getting confirmation from the world, or being obedient to God’s word?

-Are we putting fashion ahead of the kingdom?

-How can I love my neighbors every day I wake up with what I wear?


Takeaway's:

  • This is not a girls only topic, It is guys as well
  • We should not blame the other sex for our struggles with modesty
  • We must take responsibility for our actions and what we wear/do
  • Look out for your brother and sister in Christ. This isn't about us.


As always, from all of us at AskUsWhy we pray you continue to learn and grow in the faith. We want to be a resource for all believers to be equipped in any stage of life, and to be able to bring the kingdom of God wherever they go.


Peace and blessings!


If you liked this blog and want to listen to the podcast on this topic check the link below!

If you want to read more about topics like this and many other check out the rest of the HUB!

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